New Star Trek

God, fuck Orci and Abrams for what they did. Good god, how do you screw this up? It’s like they watched a bunch of Star Wars movies and then asked Joss Whedon how he would make a Star Trek movie.

I miss all the natural character development, no use of one-liners or turning Scotty into a clown for comic relief, the Enterprise being a majestic city of science rather than some Scandinavian designer’s space minivan. Where is the prime directive? WTF does Star Fleet even do? Why is everyone so goddamned boring?

Why are there only 2 or 3 races of aliens in both films, with 5 minutes each (except for Spock)? Where is the social commentary? Where is the conclusion? Why is the ending some happy go-lucky non-answer to the entire film’s events?

Star Trek is not a space romp. It is an introspection of human life within a fantastical, yet not entirely far-fetched world. The enemies and trials within it are not stereotypical. They are mysterious, and not clearly good or evil. They operate within the physics of the Trek universe. They don’t simply out do or out smart the Enterprise; they defy all the knowledge the Enterprise has to defeat them.

The battles are never physical. Overall, they are intellectual. A disease that is unknown and must be cured immediately, a new organism that defies all logic and the laws of physics that must be dealt with to save a people, bureaucratic enemies that infiltrate from within Star Fleet and the races of the Federation. Unjust laws that threaten the existence of a species.

The Enterprise is almost never out-gunned, and always out-smarted by a dynamic force, but not on the fault of the crew. Negligence nor tensions rarely create obstacles for them. They are equally matched by foes that must be cleverly defeated.

Again, this isn’t Star Wars. The Federation are not underdogs, yet Abrams seems to think they are fucking action heroes on their own.

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